So, I think I posted something about the mystery letter that my mom had written about me and saved. Well, I found it. I should preface this by saying that my mother had a very active imagination that she used in re-writing history in the most insane manner. I've checked some details of this (and I knew some before) and they're totally false. I'll comment further after the letter:
Also, I never saw my dad hit my mother and drive off. I did see her hit him and knock him down while he was trying to get away from her. He then left and spent the night sleeping in his truck, I assume. That's the only memory I have of them fighting. I do, however, have memories of all the other stories that she claimed to have been shielding me from. The cut brake line story I got from multiple angles. There's a building in Deming with an extra defensive wall that was built around one corner. It was apparently for her, because she hit it twice. My family is historically poor and so they have had a string of cars that they've worked on and kept barely running. According to many sources, my mother used to run up to a stop sign and then slam on the brakes. This is not something you want to do with an old car right after working on the brakes. She was a pretty horrifying driver all around anyway. But yeah, the 'cut brake line' was really her driving like an imbecile...twice (at least). And I had heard about it plenty, and independently researched it long long ago.
Most of the other stuff is just more of her revisionist history. Everyone is the protagonist in their own story, and most people who have extremely fallible memories seem to rewrite them according to some pattern particular to themselves. My mother's pattern was always how she is the lone good guy, and everyone else around her is insanely evil or petty with no motivation. They're like the bad guy in Gladiator.
Okay, that's enough for now. This wasn't a terribly funny entry, but I wanted to get this letter down, you know, for posterity.
Hope this isn't blank. I wrote an email and sent it to 4 people. Three of them were blank. It is probably just as well. The only person who recieved[sic] the particulars actually knows Jeremy and she told me about the same thing you said. She has two daughters and they both have given her the, "You are such a bad mother and you ruined my life" speech. I think a big part is being a single parent. Anything that went on can be blamed on us because we were the only one there.
I don't take responsibility for Jeremy's father's drinking problem. That is the big issue with us. In hind sight[sic], he doesn't think it was so bad. He accused me of always telling him only negative things about his father. I did harp on the drinking, but it has a genetic link and my mom's father was an alcoholic as well. And it is not as though he didn't witness plenty of the embarrassing drunk moment for himself.
I never told him about the cut brake line, or his dad knocking me off a 15 foot fence on my head and having to go to the emergency room, or his dad kicking me in the stomach when I was pregnant with our second child. I began hemmoraging[sic] and he refused to take me to the hospital. I guess God wasn't ready for me to join him yet, because my ex-husbands[sic] brothers and sister showed up and took me to the hospital. I only found out what was said and done last year because my brother-in-law told my sister and she told me. She thought I knew. They came to visit unexpectedly and I was unconscious in a pool of blood, convulsing on the floor. His brothers asked him what the hell was going on. He said, "Let the bitch die". His brother told him, "What do you think her father will do to you if she dies?" The brothers took me to the hospital. And Jeremy saw him run into me with the car and drive off. Somehow, I am the bad guy. I didn't tell him any of the bad things, though. I promised myself I wouldn't and I won't. Not for his father's sake, but for his. There was a lot of other abuse, but I have tried to put it behind me.
At this point, I really don't care if I see my son again. I never through I would ever in this life even think such a thing. But there it is. He told me he didn't like me. Where can you go from there? I am sorry, but I am not going to be merely tolerated. He also told me a lot of stories about things that never happened. I am wondering about mental illness, it is hereditary in my family. It just really hurts when someone you always sacrificed everything for doesn't even care and blames you for things that you had no control of. I am actually handling it better today. I didn't cry at all today. I have called to talk to Gary because he is in Dallas with Jeremy. I can't think of a single thing to say when Jeremy answers the phone. I try to come up with something and I can't. I am just mute except for, "Can I talk to Gary?"
Well, enough of that. What the hell do you mean you have to go back on the 28th? Of July? Hope not. Got to go. Leah.So that's the letter she wrote that she was hanging on to. I no longer remember the exact details, but I was here in NM for a very short time and she used to do this shitty thing where she would get me on the phone and not let me off. So if I was in town for four days, I'd block one to spend with her, and then I'd usually also drop by for a bit on another one, but for whatever reason, she felt it was important to call and try to keep me on the phone for 6 hours. She was always insane, as she indicated in her letter, she just never realized that when someone remembers events completely differently from you, that's not enough data points to determine which one of you is insane. Oh and considering that she got a lot of information from her sister, Karen, says a lot. That woman is completely nuts. I think that because my mom was around Karen and their mother is the reason she assumed that she wasn't insane. She was functionally insane. You had to be around my mother for a while to really figure it out, but you can feel it rolling off of her mother and sister instantly.
Also, I never saw my dad hit my mother and drive off. I did see her hit him and knock him down while he was trying to get away from her. He then left and spent the night sleeping in his truck, I assume. That's the only memory I have of them fighting. I do, however, have memories of all the other stories that she claimed to have been shielding me from. The cut brake line story I got from multiple angles. There's a building in Deming with an extra defensive wall that was built around one corner. It was apparently for her, because she hit it twice. My family is historically poor and so they have had a string of cars that they've worked on and kept barely running. According to many sources, my mother used to run up to a stop sign and then slam on the brakes. This is not something you want to do with an old car right after working on the brakes. She was a pretty horrifying driver all around anyway. But yeah, the 'cut brake line' was really her driving like an imbecile...twice (at least). And I had heard about it plenty, and independently researched it long long ago.
Most of the other stuff is just more of her revisionist history. Everyone is the protagonist in their own story, and most people who have extremely fallible memories seem to rewrite them according to some pattern particular to themselves. My mother's pattern was always how she is the lone good guy, and everyone else around her is insanely evil or petty with no motivation. They're like the bad guy in Gladiator.
Okay, that's enough for now. This wasn't a terribly funny entry, but I wanted to get this letter down, you know, for posterity.
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